A mum should never be made to feel guilty for needing time out to escape the hectic daily life of motherhood. It is a known fact that a mum that is able to have time out to fill her cup whilst also having her needs met at home will be an overall happier, more patient, loving mother and partner.

I am nearing the end of six weeks of annual leave which has involved moving house and getting away on a much needed family holiday to visit loved ones we have sadly been apart from due to COVID-19. You would think and it even may be expected by some, that I would be returning feeling refreshed and recuperated but the truth is, family holidays aren’t a real break for mums!

Mums need a break from being exactly that, a mum and the misconception that working mums get that break whilst at work is bull shit. Working mums might not be physically mothering whilst at work but their minds are dam well still mumming on overdrive. What will I cook for dinner tonight? Do I need to stop by the grocery store on the way home? What dress up thing does my child have again tomorrow? Oh shit, did I put that load of washing on?

The pressure on stay at home mums shouldn’t be overlooked either, in fact, it doesn’t matter what type of mum you are, there shouldn’t be a comparison competition between women proving they mum the hardest, ALL mums deserve a break! And the only person who knows when it’s time for that much needed break is them!

My wise sister-in-law once said to me ‘No-one’s looking out for you but you’. That statement replays in my head constantly. Yes we love our partners but if your partner is anything like my husband he can’t even remember where he left his keys let alone worrying about me and even if you have a dime in a dozen partner that does put your needs high on their priority list, you are the only one that knows deep down how you are feeling and coping internally behind that super mum mask we permanently wear. A partner may notice a difference in your behaviour but it’s not for them to point out that it’s time for a break because the chance is, if they’re noticing it, you are well and truly overdue for some much needed time out.

It’s easy for me to suggest jumping on the next plane to a tropical destination where you can sit with your bestie on the beach sipping cocktails all day however I do know from personal experience, it’s just not that easy. We’re mums, we have a thousand things to consider and organise before we can even fantasise about time away and you aren’t alone thinking that. Mums have a bloody tough gig and when any type of outing or holiday is planned, it’s up to us to plan it, pack for it and make sure we have ticked all the boxes on the to do list before setting off for it. Just thinking about planning a mum only getaway can turn into an anxious meltdown and chucked in the too hard basket real quick. But mums you need to look out for you. You can’t be expected to be the best version of you if you are run down, exhausted and dam well just fed up with the daily grind of motherhood.

For the first three years of motherhood I burnt the candle at both ends until I had to make the choice to either slow down and get help or jump on the express train straight to the psyche ward. A mums mental health matters and it can deteriorate faster than you realise so speak up, not only for you but for your children that want their mummy to be happy too.

Now I can guarantee there will be a number of hurdles to jump over before physically making it away but as people do say, it does get easier as the children get older. The number one hurdle to overcome will be mums guilt. As mums we feel guilty for everything, every decision we make, every time we say no to those adorable little faces, every time we lose our shit, you name it and I bet a mums felt guilty about it at some stage. A portion of the guilty hurdle that happens quite often before a mum trip is one of the children will fall ill, it’s like they know and it’s a last ditch effort to send our guilt into overdrive that we cancel our plans. This is why having a hands on partner is critical. Yes we need quality time with our partners but this is separate to mum only time. For all the single ladies out there, I pray you have a supportive village around you to allow you to get that much needed time to yourself.

People will argue that this is what mothers signed up for before becoming mums, how dare they want time without their children, why would someone have children if they still wanted to live a life of leisure? Yes I wanted to be a mother, yes I love my children, yes I’ve found motherhood the hardest but most rewarding part of my life, yes I need a break from my children because I’m fucking human and the pressure put on mothers these day is debilitating. Give yourself a break mums, literally!!

The honest truth is mums don’t get the time or space that their souls need to recharge on a family holiday. What they need is time away that doesn’t require them to think about anything mumsy what so ever. So speak up girlfriends! Shout it out to the rooftops until someone listens because mums deserve MUM ONLY getaways. I’ve got your back.